SHIKIMIKIE

It's been a year since my lola left us. I still can't believe that she's gone. Sometimes I would just burst into tears when I remember that she can't be physically be with us anymore. Also when I do some crazy things, I would think about what my lola would say. Or think. And I'd be like, tsk tsk tsk. LOL. 

My lola would have been 67 years old. Still very young to go back to heaven. Sidenote: I have at least 4 workmates her age. And every time they'd do something I don't like, I would just imagine it being my lola and my patience would go up 100%. Although my lola would probably be nicer. 

1. This. I was actually supposed to blog this haul but then again I can't find my camera's memory card where I saved the pictures so yeah. I actually didn't want anything like, my mom told me that she'll buy me blue or green pants daw and I was like, no thank you and she was like, no. You need it. Weird, yeah? And then she also asked me to choose some shoes and I chose that blue shoes which I kind of regret buying even though I've been wearing it religiously. It's just that I think the color kind of faded na and the glitters fell off na. Well most of it. Well it was kind of expected to happen naman pero still. Oh and for some reason, I've been wearing flats a lot lately and it feels weird but anyways.

So my grandmother went to the laboratory to have her blood chemistry and blood count checked and the results are not very pleasing. Health wise. My grandmother is 64 years old and suffering from a renal disease. I remember she had a renal angiogram and angioplasty probably 10 years ago. But then that was good for a while and now doctors are telling her that her kidneys are barely functioning and that she is a candidate for dialysis and we all know it's never easy. You know that I am reviewing for the MTLEX that I would be taking this September and just a quick note, I actually reviewed my URINALYSIS AND OTHER BODY FLUIDS or what you might know as Clinical Microscopy first because I want to understand my grandmother's condition even more. 

So then my grandmother asked me to go with her to her nephrologist and we kind of know that she'll be told to start dialysis already but still, it's kind of hard to accept. My grandma asked the doctor if it would be alright to do it next month but the doctor said that next month is still a long time and then my grandma asked how about next week? The doctor answered the same. My mom actually told me not to let my grandma do it yet because there's no turning back. Or if we would be very lucky, her kidneys might function normally again after some time. Hopefully. Although I know that there's really only about a small chance that this would only be a temporary thing, I want to believe. 

My grandmother then asked the doctor stuff and then the doctor said that we should start dialysis as soon as possible because that would be the best thing to do with my grandma's creatinine level at 10 point something, I couldn't agree with the doctor more. I really think it would be best for us to start this dialysis right away but I don't know. And then there's another problem because apparently, the fistula that another doctor placed in her arm may not be appropriate for dialysis. And I literally had a WTF moment. Serious stuff. Who does that to their patients? My grandma told me it was checked several times and that there's no problem or anything so yeah. The doctor told us that if it wouldn't work, then they might create another passage. Probably the neck area which kind of scared me a little bit because you know, you don't mess with the JUGULAR VEIN, doc.

On our way back home, my grandma was telling me that she's scared of the procedure and all that and I tried my best to encourage her that it would be alright. I told her that when I was still an intern, I saw that the dialysis patients were just watching TV, eating their snacks, having some kwento and stuff. TRUE STORY. Also, we discussed how some people she know don't want to undergo the procedure and that they just want to live life as it is. And then she said she want to live longer that's why she want to do it all of a sudden. She said she want to extend her life for a couple of more years and as much as I don't want to show her that I'm crying, I can't help but shed some tears. I told her to be strong and just think that it's gonna get better for her to overcome that fear. I told her that the only thing I think will hurt is the insertion of needle. My second internship taught me not to lie about pain and that we should inform them it (blood extraction) would hurt but bearable. I was a little bit relieved that she wants to fight the battle so yeah. :)

My grandma would have her blood tested again next Friday and we would want to see if her serum crea would go up or  and if it will, then it might be really the time to do it and so we will. I wish my grandma the best. Things will get better! :)