Thursday, 2 August 2012

We change.


If there's one thing in this world that's permanent. That's change. WOW. I've heard of this so many times that there's no way I can be able to forget it. Thinking about it though, it's kind of hard to accept this fact. That fact that one day, we'll change. It's seriously hard to imagine stuff. I mean, it's extremely alright to imagine yourself change for the better but at the end of the day, there will always be questions.

"Don't change." That's the usual words I hear when there's like some birthday dedications, graduation ceremonies, and all that stuff. But really? Why should we not? We're human beings and we're all subject to change. Subject to improve ourselves. Subject to a better life. Subject to aim for a better change even. So why that words? 

Even if we don't permit some changes, it happens all the time. Our hair grows and so our nails. Day always turns into night.      And all sort of other things. Like, the person that's in front of us lining to McDonald's won't be the same person who'll be in front of us tomorrow. We might be the first in line. That person might line up behind us. Or maybe still the same person. But maybe not the day after that. See? There would always be that sort of changes. 

We might get a perfect mark on a certain test, and fail on another. Thing is we are not perfect. We cannot always be right. We cannot always get what we want. But if we work hard for it, then we might get close.

But how? How can we make things right? How can we change things to the right direction? To the right direction again? 

I mean, is it even acceptable to accept change when there's no reason to change it? Something like, a plastic surgery to a very beautiful person? But that's another thing. I don't want to talk about it now. 

One thing I want to talk about now. Or probably to talk again. Well, not entirely the same though. So yeah. There are just some things I want to share. I had quite some friends when I was still in elementary and for some reason, I only managed to talk to one of them or at least constantly. That one person happened to be my best friend by the way. In high school though, I probably have more. But what happened? Maybe because of different schedules now that we're all in college and  probably some are already working and stuff. See, even that status changed. We cannot always be elementary or high school students. 

Let's talk about relationships. Not that I am an expert or whatever to this. I just want to talk about it. Relationships seem to be so perfect at first. Then there will be some fights after that few days (or months) then there will be forgiveness. Then there would be other things to fight to. Then there will be forgiveness. And after some more repetition, there wouldn't be forgiveness anymore. There wouldn't be anything to fight to, no more to fight for. Why so? Maybe because the level of tolerance of the other party changed. Or maybe because the level of offense changed as well. Or maybe it's just their feelings that changes. And then they part.

That kind of change though is very sad. Because for all I know, two people have to promise to always be there for each other and all that stuff. 

I will get a  little bit personal here though. Or maybe no. Click here to read. I failed that time. I promised myself not to talk to that person ever again but I just can't. I wasn't able to imagine life without talking to that person. Like, we used to talk at night and talk about the random-est stuff in this world and just laugh at anything. I used to feel butterflies in my stomach, how cheesy that may sound. But I don't know what happened. I actually talked about him that and he said that it's not me. It's him and all that rubbish. Just a little bit of history though, read it here. Like, for reals.

Like, I can't remember doing anything. So I have been wondering why our conversations end. Like, out of the blue, it's as if we don't know each other at all. That bothers me a lot. And to my surprise, it's as if he don't care. Oh well. I'd be lying if I say that I am not hoping that every thing will be the same way as it used to be. But I am not lying to tell you that my hopes aren't that high anymore. And it's definitely okay if we wouldn't be the same way as we were before. Time probably helped me. So I changed. And I am happy because it made me feel lighter about this. But unlike before, I don't feel angry and all that anymore. Like what I've assumed awhile ago, maybe my feelings changed. And I'm assuming his too. And for some reason, I think it's okay.  

So yeah, of course change wouldn't be always POSITIVE. Like that personal experiences I've mentioned above.There would always be negative changes and that sort we should avoid. How exactly? I don't know. Maybe we should always remind ourselves to walk on the right path and stuff like that. 

One thing is for sure though. Change is something permanent. Maybe we're just too busy to notice that everyday, there's a change. How little may them be. May it be the position of the sun when we look at it, or something else. Change will always be there. On what kind of change will it be, we may have full control of it. If not, we can always change it and revert it afterwards. Or not. 

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