Sunday, 15 July 2012

Sudden realization. Confessions.

You may already know that I am a medical technology intern. And most medical technology graduates pursue with medicine proper.

I'm just thinking, I don't want to be in the same situation again. Being a first year, second year, third year, intern...once again.

I also don't like the fact that it's gonna be way harder in medicine. WAY WAY harder. Thicker books, longer quizzes, harder exams, all that stuff. I better prepare myself just in case.

One thing you have to know about medicine studies is that it's about 4 years long to be a general practitioner and some more years to be a specialist. But the duration of it is not my main concern. I'm just saying.

I've been thinking a lot about it lately actually. I told my sister about it, and then she told my mom. But even though how many times I ask myself if I should continue, I can't seem to have a concrete answer. Maybe because I don't want to ask others about it. And I don't plan to ask others about it as well. Because med school will be about me, mainly. I'll be on my own and stuff like that so when I decide on things, I want it to be MY decision. Because by then, when things go out of my way, there's no one else to blame. I CHOSE to be in that situation.

I read like two blogs about being a medicine student. How toxic, difficult, and other discouraging stuff about it. But at the end of that two posts, are encouraging words. Like, on how fulfilling it is to help a father go home to his family, help a grandmother recover to watch her granddaughter's first piano recital and I must say I was pretty encouraged on that. Things like that are just so touching. I'm kind of weak when it comes to that.

Awhile ago, also maybe why I thought about this stuff now. I bled a medicine intern from the hospital and yeah we kind of talked a lot. He told me how he don't want to study anymore and stuff like that. That he feels that it's been like forever and stuff. He's kind of cool to be honest. But anyways.

I believe that studying medicine though, or let's say, being a doctor isn't something I have to study or become if I just want to be rich and all that materialistic reason. Because let's face it! The competition is tough. There are a lot of more experienced, well known, and well respected doctors out there. And they're everywhere. What's my stand?

I'm not putting myself down. Because if I'll be able to graduate in med school, I'll really do my best and be the best doctor that I can be. Right? Like, I might as well do my thing. And do it real good. If they can, I can too. Or learn to. Because I, of course want my efforts to pay off and stuff like that. So yeah. What's the point of being a good student and a lazy worker? Uhm. No point! Right. Maybe not lazy. Maybe something like incompetent. Oh! Out of nowhere, let me just say that I hate top students who don't know how to apply what they've learned. Like, are we gonna read books and have exams forever? Ugh. Okay let's move on. Maybe I want to be someone like doctor House! ;)

Seriously though! I get inspired everytime I watch HOUSE. He's just so good at his craft.

Last Tuesday, I went out with my friend Kim to have lunch and eat cake and stuff and she mentioned that in medicine, all the stuff that we learned in a year (two semesters) will be thought in a day. FLAG! But like I said, I'll do my best just in case I get there. But seriously, one year, one day?

So yeah that's what my realization is all about. On how I think about med school more often than before. On how undecided I still am. On how soon I'll be graduating with my degree and yeah.

A picture of us in the HISTOPATHOLOGY room! My next post! :)

1 comment:

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