SHIKIMIKIE

For me, this is the worst stage so I really agree with The Script there. This is also what will kill you emotionally. Or maybe that's the second. I don't know. Because I'm pretty sure that these two are partners at some point. 

This is a stupid thing to do over someone because come on! Trying to end your life for someone who doesn't even care makes no sense. Just get over it. Or at least the killing part. I'm pretty sure that in the song, they didn't mean killing as in its literal meaning but I just want to let that one out because it's what the picture depicts. So yeah. WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT TO YOURSELF? 

AND THE THIRD, IS WHEN YOUR WORLD SPLITS DOWN THE MIDDLE

AND FOURTH, YOU'RE GONNA THINK THAT YOU FIXED YOURSELF

FIFTH, YOU SEE THEM OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE

AND THE SIXTH, IS WHEN YOU ADMIT THAT YOU MAY HAVE MESSED UP A LITTLE

Right! Like, it really annoys me when people say they hate someone especially if they're just the same in my book.

Like, when people say something to someone because of something that that someone did that the certain someone didn't like. And then he or she complains, I'd be like WTF is going on? Like, seriously. When I'm ultra close to that someone, I'd be very much eager to remind him or her of a certain happening when he or she did exactly the same.

Like, in your face.

But to those I don't really know much, oh well. That's life.

I guess it's really a tough world. People trying to be the only one of their kind and hating the rest who are copying, eh? Well. Oh well.

It can also be the other way around though. Sometimes the one copying is the one hating. And I don't see the point. Like, sometimes, it happens. And sometimes I don't see the point.

I can just imagine how there would be a lot of group of friends and stuff if people would just be friends with people they are alike. Did I make sense there? LOL.

"Let's not hate what we can't imitate."

But let's not hate at all. Like, if we can still help it.

Naturally, we would want to look for friends that are our level. Same attitude, same this, same that. Right? So what the heck is the fuss of hating people that are our like? Mmm...

Just come to think of it.

I actually thought of making "INTERNSHIP REPORT" a title and actually thought of making it a segment but since I wouldn't be an intern the rest of my life, aye? So yeah. I would just blog about it when I feel like I can't even already.

These are just some stuff that I couldn't get over with without actually telling.

It all started when we went to the Emergency Room to do our thing there. And by "we" I mean, a co-intern and I. We looked for a patient inside the OB-GYN section but the doctors were busy talking so naturally, we waited.

There are actually three patients inside that section of the Emergency Room and what caught our attention was that there was a man blocking the way and stuff and he was talking to two out of the three doctors present there and so yeah. Basically, they were talking about how the unborn child of one of the three patients wouldn't be able to survive and that they should find a hospital who have an incubator for his child to survive.

So anyway the doctor assigned to check for the child's heart beat then said that she (the mom) should have known because she is just 16 and kind of confirmed/asked to the patient that she already knew the risks and stuff of what's gonna happen because of her being pregnant at a very young age. And for some unknown reason, THE GIRL NODDED.  WTF? Seriously, girl? By the way, that same doctor said that the teenage girl would give birth anytime very soon and that there's no much time left for him to find a hospital with an incubator. Or else!

Seriously, doc? WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? Magically produce an incubator right at your front or what?

And then the guy asked one of the doctors of the possible risks that could happen if they wouldn't be able to find an incubator and then the doctor answered DEATH OF THE CHILD. As if it was nothing. And that's not even my main concern.

My main concern is how the doctor assumed that the 16 year old knew. Seriously?  She's pregnant at a very young age and ended up in the Emergency Room because she doesn't have an idea, does she?

And then when we were about to go, the last doctor actually comforted the man by saying that he shouldn't cry YET and that they should have visited a doctor whilst the teenage girl is still okay and not when it's too late and all that stuff.

And then when we were already able to talk to the doctor, our patient was actually not in the Emergency Room anymore and so we left. The thing is the doctor who said that the child will die was actually kind of nice to us. Mmm...

So then when we were on the hallway, I said that the I find the doctors harsh and my co-intern agreed and she concluded that she's almost very sure that they're not from UST. But of course. Hopefully.

I mean, being in the profession that they are, they should be able to make someone feel better and not actually make things worse like they just did. It is indeed true though that there's only a little chance of survival when the lungs aren't mature enough but come on. Since you can't actually provide them with the incubator that they need, at least provide them with the moral support they need. Like, tell them to contact nearby hospitals or at least help them with that. And the thing is there were two more patients ready to give birth who were hearing about this child who is unlikely to live and stuff.

If they were on a private hospital and where people actually PAY for their "service", I don't think they would be able to act like the way they acted awhile ago. Certainly not. Talk about discrimination.

I actually had a similar experience in my first hospital rotation. The doctor kind of said that the patient would die and all that and after a short while, they were already filing an incident report and all that. NEAT.

It's kind of sad that the teenage girl and the guy wouldn't probably have the guts to complain because they don't have an idea and they would probably be too scared to go up against doctors. In my opinion.

To sum it all up,

I generally didn't like the way they sounded to the guy. Like, it's like giving an end to everything they hoped for. Although I am not exactly in favor of them because they obviously did the wrong thing there. SIXTEEN? Serious? It's like the borderline for me. But borderline for me isn't exactly acceptable. Whatever.

I don't know what happened to them but I hope the three of them are alright now.

So yeah. That's all I have to say.

It seems like impossible but you'll get over it.

At some point, after giving it your all for the longest time, you'll get tired of struggling to get someone or someone back or whatnot. But the good news is, you'll realize that one day, you're just wasting your time over that someone who doesn't even give a dang or dang anymore.

It may seem unfair that they don't give us their time and stuff but thinking about it, we're actually being unfair mostly to ourselves for denying ourselves the happiness and the freedom to enjoy life. But that's another story.

At some point in your life, you will feel alone. THAT'S PROBABLY TRUE. But that doesn't mean you are! You just have to re-establish your thinking. Like, don't think that you'll be with that person you want to be with and you'll notice that there are a lot more out there. I'm not saying that you should get them all and stuff but the point is, stop trying to get someone who doesn't have the slightest will to be with you. Get it? PLUS! You have your family and friends with you. For sure. So don't feel so alone.

Like, at some point, you'll realize that you're more important than that person. That you have to make yourself happy. UNLESS YOU'RE HAPPY THAT YOU'RE NOT PART OF THE OTHER PERSON'S PLAN. Which I doubt and I hope I'm right of my uncertainty.

OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND. I don't know if I already said it here or whatever but yeah. Try not to come across to anything that'll just remind you of that person and after quite some time, it'll get better. You won't be wanting the person as much as you did and that can be the start of something good. It's not gonna be instant! You have to be patient and be sooooo determined that when the urge to actually fall for that person ever again comes, you will not.

I actually am feeling better about quite a lot of things so this post is relevant to me too. I need improvement on whatever I'm doing but whatever happens, at least I'm going there. That's all that I want to say. See yah!

I just realized that this world is just as beautiful as we thought it isn't. Well, most of us. I can't say that I'm the most perfect person that actually think so positive all the time.

But I always try.

There are just so many thinks to look at and sometimes I can't help but wonder. Such a beautiful world. I know science will have an explanation for every wonder that there is but it's still fascinating. It's as if it's perfectly mend and one just complements the other.

SUNRISE. SUNSET. RAIN. WIND. NIGHT. STARS.

These are my favorite wonders. I like sunrise. It's therapeutic watching the sun go up and do its job. It's always nice to feel its warmth. When I was still working as a call center agent, sunrise means that it's only gonna be a few more minutes of call before I go home. I like the sunset. Well, I like the sunset more. It's a good mark of a day well spent. I mean, even though you did nothing that day. This is a cycle actually.

SUNRISE to start the day. SUNSET to end it and look forward to SUNRISE.

I'm not gonna talk about the other elements but you can only guess that they also give the same sort of significance.

I guess the other point I want to make is that there's always something nice if we'll all try. And that's just nice, isn't it? A world full of positivities.

Travel is another point of the whole thing. Like, some people who live in FRANCE, ITALY, GERMANY, AUSTRIA and some other gorgeous places but people from beautiful countries like that still TRAVEL. Why? Because maybe they want to see more. More than there is. More than what they have. Or maybe they want to see wonders. Like all of us.

So yeah. Whatever. I just think that if we will be more open to possibilities, there will be more opportunities. Opportunity to grow, learn, and see wonders.

Can you just do yourself a favor and search for Coldplay's What a Wonderful World cover on YouTube. And yes. The video I'm talking about is the one that'll be immediately followed by Fix You. Have a nice day.

Countries I want to live to bucket list:

South Korea

France

England

United States of America

Australia

That's all!

Being prepared is like the best weapon ever. Like, if we're prepared, we just let things happen without being scared. It's like expecting the unexpected and actually having a battle plan. I think.

May it be on an emergency situation or by the weather and stuff. If we have all the things we need, then we'll get thru it. And this is not even a post to campaign panic buying and all the shit we might be needing in the future and stuff. But it's always nice to have a plan. Before it's too late. Sort of.

If we wish for so many things in life, and they happened altogether, what would we choose first? It's kind of tricky because we may or may not be able to pour our time and enjoy those things. Like if we have to choose just one, how would we stand for the other wishes? I'm not saying that it's bad to wish for everything but let's all be practical and choose wisely. If that's not too much to ask. If none happened, then we may or may not feel bad because we wished for so many things and yet none happened.

So yeah some people have it all because they've worked hard for what they have. I'm not even talking about those who are born with such rich families but those who actually made it happen. In my opinion, they worked hard and they deserve their wealth and stuff like that. And those who still didn't get the reward they deserve, I hope we'll continue to be patient because I think that eventually, we'll be rewarded. Let's just be patient.

I just came home from a wake (092012). It's kind of hard to blog about it really but then I just want to keep track on everything. It's gonna be long, I bet. A friend of mine died. It was like, all of a sudden. It wasn't given a chance to be cured or whatsoever. I guess too late for the operation. But then again...well.

The story was that friend of mine was in Medicine and Surgery school like, a week ago. Like, first year. And then another friend of mine tweeted that he dropped. And we were concerned about his slot there and all that. The fees and stuff. Because medicine and surgery is like 100k+ in our uni plus books and everything. But then we thought and said that his health is more important than anything else.

So then awhile ago, the same friend called me while I was eating breakfast. She asked me I receive anything from some other friends. When I said no, she finally said it. Said that our friend already died. So I was shocked and all that. And I wasn't able to review for the exit exam in our hospital and all that stuff. It was said it was a polyp but yeah...later.

So I said to myself that I can't be absent on his wake. Like, I missed a lot of gatherings and all that but NOT THIS ONE. So after my duty, I went home and went to the wake. With my cousin. Which I am thankful for.

Quite a lot of things happened on our way there. FIRST OF ALL, we got lost. There were apparently 2 branches of this place. But the one got totally destroyed and now it's just a big parking lot. The sad thing is that we went there first. Like, our uni is in Manila and that wrecked place is in Manila and the other is in Quezon City. What to expect? What happened was when we went to where it was supposed to be, well, we didn't have an idea on where exactly it used to be though. But we looked it up on Google maps first before we headed out so we have an idea that it was supposed to be in that area where we were looking for it. But then we couldn't find it. So we've asked like, 3 people that didn't know where and stuff so yeah. And then when we asked that guy that didn't look reliable at all (sorry for judging) he said that the place is that empty lot and he literally pointed on the empty lot at the back. And we actually clarified it and he just repeated what he said. So then I said that the place might be at the back of the empty lot. So we walked beside the empty lot and we've been walking for like quite a while and the condition that we were not seeing anything than a casino/hotel, we asked a security guard. Thinking he would be of any help. And he said he don't know where it is. So then we thought that we might still be far or the person who pointed on the empty lot was crazy and stuff. So we went on hoping there would be at least a sign of the place. We gave up and asked someone again. A vendor. He then said that the empty lot used to be that place and it was destroyed and stuff. HOLY CRAP moment. But then we got to keep going.

So I called my friend and told her what happened and then she told me where the place is situated and stuff. The funny thing is she asked me awhile if the place is near where it really is while I answered with "from what I know, the place is near (where it was destroyed) but then she was able to go to the right place. So it's just me.

So after two more rides and a lot of walking, we were able to reach the place. But first we entered the wrong building and stuff but then a guy told us that we might be on the wrong building. We probably looked really lost for him to tell that without us asking.

Luckily, I was able to find the room and it was somehow good to see everyone. It was a relief. I saw my friend and she asked me if I want her to join me in viewing our friend and I said yes right away. I'm actually afraid of looking at people that way so I would have asked her to join me if she didn't volunteer. I don't know why.

So then she told me the story. It wasn't just polyp or polyps like what they told us before. It was CANCER. And he actually said that to his closest friends but he said that they shouldn't tell everyone about it. That friend of ours had a heart attack when he was still an intern. Medical Technology intern in a hospital in Manila. But since he was in the hospital, he was saved. What happened now was when his girlfriend opened the door of his condo, he was already lifeless.

So that's what happened. And the autopsy done said that he died due to multiple organ failure.

It's sad really. We aren't the closest of friends but it's still sad. Like, thinking about it and stuff. I just want him to know that it was a pleasure knowing him and that I hope that wherever he is, he's happy.

I was moved when I saw his dad because he looked exactly like him and the eyes of his dad was really sore and all that. His dad is a doctor so looking from his dad's point of view, might be a thousand times more hurtful. Or more. But no one is with him that time, so that can't be helped. I can just imagine how his dad wished that he should have been there and all that.

Life is really too short. So whatever it is that we think we have to do, we should do it. I wish for the fast recovery of his parents' broken hearts for his lost. You will be missed.

For some reason, synonyms are really very important. Don't you think? Sometimes, when we ask our friends about some words we can't remember, they will always say some words and stuff. And notice how we always have to disagree and ask for more words to get our word right?

Oh well. That's always me.

I absolutely agree! So many times in my life have I heard this kind of effery. School, internship, home, and some other places. They are all the same. And I would always say!

"Not because everyone is doing it, it's the right thing to do."

Like, I hate it when people assume that they should follow others and stuff. Like, people should have their own way of thinking. That's why we have our individual brain and mind. That's why there's school. To nurture and develop thinking and learning process. I hate it when people are just copying other people's idea or something like that.

One common example is the airport. I mean, most of the time, people would go to the right place among with other people. But what if the first one to go is going to the bathroom or somewhere? Then the person who would follow that someone would go to the bathroom too. What will happen to everyone on their backs? Like, instead of going to the right place, people would go to the bathroom instead. That's of course a hypothetical situation but not impossible. In science, hypothesis can be proven. Oh well. Enough of the science thingy.

Also, I've noticed that the street crossers here in the Philippines follow the same thing. There's not a lot of people who are educated when it comes to street lights and stuff so people literally cross the streets by their instincts. When there are cars crossing the street, it follows that people would have a hard time crossing it right? So what will happen is that when a person cross the street, everyone would follow. Like, even if it's not the right thing to do. I just hate it when that happens. People in the government should really implement a strict rule and stuff so people would have no excuse. And the streets and the people would be more coordinated. With that being said, less accidents yeah? How awesome would that be?

Right! I especially don't like seeing 5 kids being carried by a single person. I don't mind if they kind of look comfortable and all that. The majority of the situation that I witnessed was nothing like that. Most of the children are barely dressed properly and all that stuff. And they don't look kind of healthy. Which is the sad part of course. The ironic part is that most wealthy people don't actually have more than let's say 2-3 kids? And then these other people have the guts to have what? More than 5 kids and what do they do? COMPLAIN? WOW. Good for them!

Some of the people here in the Philippines are like that. Most people who aren't as financially capable as the others usually complain that they don't have enough money for the family and all that. Well, I don't mean to offend those people who have been working TOOO hard to feed their children and all that but if they're already having a hard time to feed themselves, what made them think that they can feed another child? And another...and another.

I know that the couple probably love each other so much and all that stuff but how can they be selfish not to think what the situation will be after their sessions or whatever. For me, it's kind of unfair. For the children at least. And I'm not exactly over reacting. I'm affected by this too you know. How many children have approached me and asked for coins and all that. Ugh. Annoying. Most of these children would ask for money to buy food and they will say they haven't had lunch or whatever.

I actually had an experience when I was in second year college I guess. When I was riding a jeepney on my way home, that time I sat near the driver. A kid went up the jeepney and asked for money and stuff. I think no one gave him any so when he finally reached my place, he asked for money, right? I said, no. Then he started pinching me like seriously. And his nails are kind of long and he wouldn't stop pinching me and stuff. ANNOYING!

WHERE ARE THEIR PARENTS? WHY AREN'T THEY GOING TO SCHOOL? Can I just say that going to school is one of the RIGHTS of a child here in the Philippines so somebody please explain to me what's up. And most of the kids aren't as well mannered as they should be. Most of them SWEAR, FIGHT, DO DRUGS, and all that nasty stuff. How can they be a product of love with that being the case? Shouldn't they be nurtured with values and stuff?  I'm sick of seeing people like these, to be honest.

If only their children can come to school, then there would be a chance for them to have a proper job when they finish college or at least high school and then the trend would stop.

I'm actually worried about these kids. What will happen to them in the future? To their kids? So yeah. I hope parents would realize that we're not having a population contest here.

I always say this on times when stuff aren't so good and when things are kind of difficult for me to handle. I say it when I need that extra confidence.  Situations like introducing myself in front of many people, reporting a topic, reciting in front of the class, and any other school related scenarios that involves standing in front of the class are just some scenarios when I kind of tremble a little bit. But of course, there's really nothing to worry about stuff like that. Almost everyone go through that process.

I seriously don't know if it's a good thing but I also say it when people around me are kind of hesitant to do things that I know they can and stuff like that. Like, it's definitely not my business if someone's afraid to do something or whatever but yeah. I don't know but sometimes I feel like they feel more pressured.

One example was when my cousin, friend, and I were on a job fair and then my cousin was really really really really hesitant to queue for an interview on that company that my friend and I already got accepted to. The thing is she kept insisting that she wouldn't pass the initial screening and that only our friend and I would go to work and stuff like that. I actually wouldn't push her if she's really incapable but knowing my cousin, she actually can do that kind of stuff. She was just shy and maybe lacked confidence that time. But see! If I didn't push her that time, then she wouldn't be with us working on that call center before. I love my cousin so I want her to know that she's more than what she think she is. And that she can do more things than she think she can. And I'm saying it to you too. Yes, you!

If you don't believe me, then that's fine. But then again, whatever. Your loss, not mine.

I don't know. I just think that human beings, in general, are more capable than they think they are. Sometimes I think that there are just so many factors that hinder human beings to reach their full potential. I don't why, but for some reason, I think people are always kind of like that. They kind of think inferior of themselves which I truly believe they're not.

I'm no exception though. Yeah, you already know. LOL. I usually remind myself that I should be more than what I think I am. I usually chant "GRACE UNDER PRESSURE. MIND OVER MATTER." countless of times when I have to condition myself and stuff. I don't know. It just works. It's all in the mind, yeah. All the fears and stuff. They're just all in the mind. If they can, why can't I? I mean, if another human being can do it, It's just logical to think that since I'm a human being, I too can do it. Something like that.

If you think you can't, just always think that you can. Always think positive! If you're gonna think that you can instead of can't then for me, there's a higher chance that you'll actually be able to do it.

I guess my point here is that we should be in full control of what we want in life. Let's just not think of things that we know will just make us weaker and less of a person. Less of ourselves. If we want something, we should work for it. What's stopping us? If we don't want to do something, make sure we really don't want that. Not because we're afraid, we're influenced not to do so, and stuff like that. If it's for the better, then why are we afraid to do it? If it's gonna make us happier, then why not do it? If it's for the common good, then go. But after thinking about it so many times and we still don't want to do it, then don't. I am not convincing everyone to actually follow my principles in life but that's just how I view things. Have a nice day! :)

It's August now! Time flies so fast! Dang. I'm almost over with my internship program number one just like that. I know I've talked about it before but...really. Anyways, I just want to say that I think I've been doing things lately that I kind of haven't imagined doing. I don't know what exactly but I know I'm doing some things I haven't done before. Internship, most of all. The way I gauge it is my feelings toward things. This month on, I want to do more. And be more. Like, I want to grow more as a person and I want to widen my perceptive to be more understanding in a sense that I will think more to absorb all the things that I have to think about and to be wiser with my decisions. I want to be more patient and to be more careful and all stuff like that. So yeah, good vibes! However, having no fear in doing bad things isn't my point. That's just unforgivable. :)

These pictures were taken few years back ago. There were actually so many birds to feed that time. I even encountered some wild ones trying to steal portions of food I was supposed to feed to the smaller ones.

And then we bought からげ (fried chicken) in the nearest convenience store and when my younger sister's about to eat one chunk of it, a big bird stole it from her from above. Good thing she wasn't hurt or anything. She was like just surprised and was scared a little bit.

Then my mom threw a big portion of cupcake high up the air and that big bird took it. It was quite an experience to watch such. Anyways. Nothing much.

I just thought that I've been really busy lately. And blogging stuff kind of helps me unwind and slow down things. It's just nice to bring back good old days, you know.

The thing is I haven't seen quite a lot of friends for like forever and I definitely miss them so much. I actually haven't seen my best friend as well which makes me kind of depressed.

Internship is really stressing me and sucking the energy out of me. Maybe because of the irregular schedule. If I have a normal schedule, and by normal I mean, regular, I wouldn't be as stressed I am now. My body would probably get used to it. And my biologic clock would probably come back to life. But that's not the case. Well thinking about it, it's probably because of some people. I don't know why. Some people are just really MAD.

So yeah. That is just to say that we shouldn't keep burdens. We should let go of the bad vibes that we had. We should let go of the negativities and stuff like that. We should just live happily and that we should always view the beautiful things in life. I think right, the things that we see are just reflections of what we are as a person. So the next thing you see someone really negative, most likely, that someone failed to do this exercise and for me, that's considered a failure. Failure in trying. So yeah. That's just some little pondering.